Unsettling Things Said By My Children

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“My tooth is not a ghost.”

“Ghosts taste like broccoli and cheese and flowers and the ocean.”

“They’re here! The shadow people are here! They want their daylight dinner.”

“I’m pretending to be a cat. Cats scratch furniture to keep the furniture from taking over.”

“When you roar like a monster it tickles my feelings.”

“Your voice is too low and booming for me. It needs to be higher and squeakier.”

“I have my toy shovel and I want you to help me bury up a person. Please?”

“Before I was born, when I was in my mom’s belly, I had nothing to do except play with her skeleton.”

“Dad, when you’re dead and I’m a writer, I will take your place.”