GOBLIN SECRETS Book Launch

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Twin Citizens! Next month I’ll be celebrating the launch of my debut novel Goblin Secrets with a wide variety of Minneapolitan events. For more about the book itself, please browse over here.

THE LIST OF EVENTS

Tuesday, March 6th
Magers & Quinn
7:30 pm

Wine! Cheese! Mostly grownups! Kids welcome too, of course. On this day the book will be officially released into the world, and I’ll celebrate at the bookstore that used to employ me.

Friday, March 9th
Blue Ox Cafe
7:00 pm

A pair of brilliant actors from HUGE Improv Theater will join me in a dramatic reading of a Goblin Secrets chapter.

Saturday, March 10th
Wild Rumpus
1:00 pm

An afternoon reading surrounded by the furry and feathered denizens of Wild Rumpus. I wish I had known about this place as a kid. I would have made a serious attempt to hide in the walls somewhere so I’d never have to leave.

Sunday, March 11th
Uncle Hugo’s
1:00 pm

An excellent store to get lost in. One half is dedicated to fantastical literature, and the other half is filled with mysteries. I’ll be lost somewhere in the Fantasy & Science Fiction half.

Saturday, March 17th
DreamHaven Books
7:00 pm

This grand and climactic event will be a group reading and panel discussion by my entire writing group, Symbolical Head, comprised of Barth Anderson, Haddayr Copley-Woods, David Schwartz, and Stacy Thieszen. All of them write magnificent things, and DreamHaven itself is a magnificent place.

Sunday, March 18th
Blue Ox
9:00 am

Masks and other theatrical things feature heavily in Goblin Secrets, and this morning event will be dedicated to mask making. You can preview the masks here. There will also be coffee, and you should know that the Blue Ox brews dreams from the very finest beans.

The Girl on the Ceiling

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The anonymous author of the NYC Palimpsest Project revealed her first bedtime stories in a series of ephemeral chalk graffiti. I spent days tracking down these scrawled messages to assemble the stories they describe.

The artist’s first tales at bedtime were all about a girl whose name matched her own—only backwards. This backwards girl lived on the ceiling. She ate pork chops for breakfast and cereal for supper. Her reversals led to all sorts of hijinks and escapades.

She might tell us more, but we’ll have to wait for the sidewalks to clear.

Bradley Beaulieu Solves Mysteries

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Bradley Beaulieu, author of The Winds of Khalakovo and co-author of Strata (with Stephen Gaskell), tells us this:

Unfortunately, I came from one of those households that didn’t read books much. I don’t recall any being read to me when I was very young. The first ones that I do recall—and I read them myself—were the Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew mysteries. I can’t remember what particular books I read first. The Tower Treasure? Perhaps. The Secret of the Old Clock? Could be. Since this is a bit of revisionist history, I’ll choose The Sinister Signpost as my first book, if only for the silly yet somehow cool cover.

This brings up an important question: If you could choose your first and most formative bedtime story, which one would you pick?

Stephen Gaskell rides with Captain Pugwash

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Stephen Gaskell struggles to remember the following:

I can barely remember bits of my novel’s plot a week later, so this is unreliable as hell, but I seem to remember having Pugwash read to me as nipper. Captain Pugwash was the bumbling, honourable leader of a ship of pirates, and always got into funny japes with his crewmates and enemies as they sailed around dangerous seas in The Black Pig. The artwork was beautiful, with colourful, rotund pirates making exaggerated expressions, and I think it gave me a lifelong love of that breed of old-fashioned adventuring that informs a lot of my fiction today. Great memories!

Stephen is one of the good people who strives to put science in his science fiction, and he recently released an e-book co-authored by Bradley Beaulieu. “It features giant solar mining platforms, skimmer racing through tunnels of fire, and a dangers rebellion.” For more information, and for old-fashioned adventuring on the surface of the sun, go browse in this direction.

Sarah Prineas and the Galloping Soundtrack

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Sarah Prineas remembers this:

When I was a kid my dad worked very long hours, but now and then he was home when I went to bed, he would tell me this same story.  I haven’t thought of it in years, but he probably told it to me hundreds of times.  Next time I see him, I’ll ask him to tell it again.  It was an adventure that culminated with me being captured by a witch and imprisoned in a dark cellar.  I called out in this tiny voice, “I want my daddy!  I want my daddy!”  And then my best friend at the time, Johnny Schomp, rode up on his horse (accompanied by riding music) and rescued me, and took me to my dad.  The end! 

Sarah’s newest novel Winterling just arrived at a bookstore near you. Here’s Jenn Reese on why you should all read it.

Rachel Swirsky’s Forbidden Doors in King Bidgood’s Bathtub

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Rachel Swirsky, like Kelly Link, remembers Goodnight Moon. Maybe it was the background painting of the bunny catching a merbunny with carrot-bait that turned them into such magnificent writers of unrealisms.

Rachel also remembers Merilee Heyer’s The Forbidden Door and Audrey Wood’s King Bidgood’s in the Bathtub. Both books are richly illustrated. Here’s a video clip of someone reading King Bidgood, and they do the voices. Here’s Marilee Heyer’s website, where you can marvel at her art.

Stand and Deliver!

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Jane Yolen vividly remembers two children’s books: The Story of Ferdinand (which has withstood the test of time) and The Pleasant Pirate (not so much).

Her son and occasional co-author Adam Stemple claims to have repressed all bedtime story memories. According to his mother they sang many a ballad and folksong together. As a direct result, Adam often played “highwayman” on the playground, accosting peers and siblings with “Stand and deliver, for I am a bold deceiver!

An Entirely True Ghost Story

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I don’t believe in ghosts, but I have met a few—most of them in Scotland. The most unquiet bunch waited on a hilltop in the middle of the Midlands. 

“Hilltop” sounds impressive, like Weathertop, like some majestic lookout crowned by ruins dignified in their decay, but this place was just a little hill surrounded by trees and sheep, barely visible unless you stood on it already. A ruined castle did crumble on that hilltop, but it was not crumbling in a graceful or tragic manner. There’s a difference between swooning dramatically and simply smacking your face on the floor after you pass out. 

Even if the set designer of my little ghost story chose to scorn the classics of gothic literature, somebody backstage knew the proper cues: a fog rose up among the tree, and surrounded the hill. Hardly remarkable, for Scotland—but, then again, most of the hauntings I encountered were hardly remarked on by the locals. “Oh, right, sorry. The ghost in that room hates men with beards. No wonder you didn’t get any sleep. Here, switch rooms. No bother, no bother, try the one across the hall tonight.”

I digress. Back to the hilltop. 

While walking across those unimpressive castle grounds, I noticed that I was angry. I had no reason to be, but that didn’t seem to matter. Old grudges and petty bits of unfinished business came bubbling up into memory, as though my brain were searching for reasons why I felt the way I already did.

This isn’t right, I thought (angrily). I don’t think this anger is actually mine.

In that instant a whirlwind took shape and surrounded the spot where I stood. Dried leaves spun in a perfect circle, twelve feet or so in diameter, and that circle began to contract. So I picked up a stick and drew a smaller circle in the dirt, around myself. It seemed like the obvious thing to do.

The whirlwind contracted only as far as that line. Outside my little barrier it continued to howl. Inside I continued to stand. The wind did not abate, and I had nowhere else to go. 

These circumstances went on for a bit. It’s strange to feel simultaneously terrified and bored. (The anger was gone. No, that isn’t true, but I no longer felt it. I watched it surround me instead.)

“I’ll leave,” I said aloud, “but you’re going to have to let me go.”

The whirlwind vanished. Leaves fell, hit the ground, and stayed there.

I stepped slowly outside my circle. Then I left, and got lost. Sheep can be surprisingly sinister looking when you run into them in dense fog. Eventually I found the town, and my room, and my bed. 

The next morning I glanced at an old map in the hostel lobby. The precise spot where I had been standing the day before, the place that expressed rage with wind and leaves, belonged to the executioner. His ax severed hundreds of heads on that spot. It’s possible that the heads are still unhappy about this. Frustrated by a lack of lungs, they all make do with the world’s wind.
 
I wonder if the local executioner had worn a beard like mine. Might shave before traveling next time.

Squibby, Squirky, and Neil Gaiman

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In honor of All Hallow’s Read, I give you Neil Gaiman‘s answer to my favorite question.

The very first bedtime stories I remember being told were by my father, who used to tell us stories about a couple of squirrels—small grey squirrels who lived in the trees near us and had adventures and who would fight evil foxes. They were called Squibby and Squirky. And I remembering the worst part of that was when we moved. “But they lived in our tree, outside our old house. We’re hundreds of miles away. How can you tell stories about them?”

Neil also practiced the “reading by the hallway light,” trick at a very young age. This is a close cousin to the “flashlight under the blankets” trick, but the advantage of the hallway light is that you are not actually breaking the the “lights out” rule within the confines of your own bedroom. The disadvantage, of course, is that the hallway light tends to be dim. It leaves you squinting at your book. This may or may not lead to perfect night vision in adulthood.

I was a really early reader, which was kind of useful. I would be in bed with the door open just enough to read by, after I’m not meant to be up at all, with these strange English comics. I don’t even remember the title. Whatever these things they were, these English comics for three year olds, they were about woodland animals having adventures with jam. Lot of woodland animals in England, in stories, lots of little little happy hedgehogs making jam. By the end of it there was jam everywhere. Could’ve been blood, I suppose.

You can hear him deliver this answer here, towards the very end of a rather long video. The whole thing is worth watching, of course. Dave McKean is in it. (I’ll post about his answer another time.)